The opinion that evoked the strongest reaction was on the last slide of the carousel and said that “TVs above fireplaces are an abomination. Please hide them at the very least”. The comments went from agreeable to apologetic to not understanding why I would say that - so I thought I’d elaborate a bit on the subject and my general quest to remove easiness from our lives and introduce friction (stay with me, we’ll get there).

An American Discussion

The TV discussion is an interesting one, and feels very American to me. I grew up with the assumption that TVs are something to be hidden from polite society and that watching TV was something that one did in private.

At some point in the last ten (or more?) years this assumption changed. Was it the advent of flat screen TVs that people wanted to show off? I feel like those were still hidden away, either in a TV room or in a built in. Or was it Covid? After all, it was just before the pandemic that we all started streaming and pop culture moved towards peak TV. All of a sudden, everyone had to discuss the latest awful murder on Game of Thrones - TV had moved from private to public.

None of this explains the reasoning behind a TV above a fireplace though. A quick google with a deeper dive into reddit shows me (1) that people generally actually DON’T like a TV above a fireplace, or maybe that’s just people like me who need to tell people that they don’t like them, and (2) that that the fault for this is found in the design choices of the naughts. Open space concepts created less wall space to put a TV, with a focus on the fireplace - and the TV hung above it, almost as an afterthought. Plus, the advent of HGTV created a whole subset of grey awfulness, so I guess that we can classify TVs above fireplaces into that.

The “we didn’t have another option” excuse

There is one type of comment on my viral Instagram post that I haven’t mentioned yet: the apologetic but… comment. The people who felt called out because they actually have a TV above their fireplace but they are ever so slightly ashamed for that. This is where it gets interesting, and where my quest for more friction in design comes into play. Because let’s be honest: a TV above a fireplace is lazy design. Especially a TV that just hangs there. To make it interesting, you have to think about it, design around it, actually come up with a solution.

Because that is what real design is also about: making sure it’s liveable and adapts to the needs of the people living in it but ideally without foregoing beauty.

A TV just isn’t a beautiful or even interesting artefact. No fancy Frame TV can change my mind on that. So a real designer should always find a way to incorporate it into their designs, work with it but not let it distract from what is going on in the space. Because that is another downside of that dreaded black rectangle above a fireplace: it distracts from what is going on in a room.

Hide it, frame it, disguise it

And perhaps that’s the real point. Design should not be about default settings. It shouldn’t be about the easiest wall, the obvious solution, the “that’s just where it goes.” A home deserves thought and, ideally, tension to make it work. Friction helps with this. Friction questions where we want to take the space that is ultimately our own. What should it feel like? What do we love to look at? What do we value in the space? If, like me, your answer is beauty and cosiness (because every space should be cosy in my book) you should design accordingly. Don’t let the largest black rectangle in the room dictate the atmosphere. Hide it, frame it, disguise it.

Because good design isn’t about pretending we don’t watch TV. It’s about deciding that the TV doesn’t get to be the main character.

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What is your take on the debate? Pro TV above fireplace? Con? I’d love to know.

“Be your own best guest. Enjoy yourself — the guests are here, no reason to stress about details anymore. Go with the flow of the evening and you’ll love it.”

To finish the story from last week’s post, my mother was throwing her first dinner party in Paris — and it was starting much later than she had anticipated. But finally, guests began to trickle in at the normal Parisian dinner time (I assume, 9:30 to 10pm, not the suggested 8pm).

With all the food burnt, my father dashed to the local brasserie to buy oysters. Windows were thrown open and food smoke replaced with cigarette smoke. My mother’s French became fluent for the first time, aided by “ALL THAT VINE,” and she simply embraced the chaos.

By the early hours of the morning, the dinner party had become a roaring success — a story of laughter and resilience that would go down in family lore.

That night in Paris taught her an important lesson, one she never tired of repeating to me: be your own best guest.

My incurable perfectionism makes this concept difficult to digest, but its one but I think I’ve gotten the hang of it (more or less). So, here are some of the tips and tricks I’ve accumulated over the years to make being my own best guest as stress-free as possible…

Don’t serve a starter. Use the beloved Apéro method, what the French (and Belgians and Swiss) love to do before dinner: have nibbles, some drinks and a sit down before sitting down at the dinner table. And don’t serve anything complicated. I usually make a guacamole, cut some dried salami and add some cherry tomatoes. Or hummus (store bought because let’s not exaggerate).

Have your table setting prepared for all courses. Different wines for different meals? Put all glasses on the table. Serving dessert? Set the silverware on the table (ideally fork and spoon, above the plate) and prepare the plates on a side table. Have the serving platters prepared, and the serving silver at the table already. Anything and everything that can be on the table before you sit down, should be there: wine, salt, ashtrays (kidding. Ah, the good old times when every guest would have their own mini ashtray above their plate. I can’t imagine it anymore)

Make a one-sheet dinner. They’re easy to make and ready when you are. And you don’t have to spend your time in the kitchen, messing with the different cooking times of the different vegetables, meats, etc. I usually prepare everything and put it in the oven when the first guests have arrived. Better to have people wait for their dinner a bit than have an overcooked, cold dinner because of late guests.

Always accept help. Ask you guests to light candles, help carry food, etc. It also makes them feel included and breaks the ice between other guests if/when they work together. Ideally, they’re well educated enough to grab plates and bring them to the kitchen. Just have them place them anywhere! It doesn’t matter in the moment.

Don’t start tidying up. Is your kitchen a war zone from getting the food out, opening more wine, all those plates your helpful guests dumped everywhere? Leave it be. Close the door on the kitchen and just enjoy yourself. It can wait — even until tomorrow.

So, in the sense of being your own best guest: what are your go-tos for a stress-free and successful dinner party? Any main take aways? Disagreements? Tell me in the comments below and don’t hold back. Otherwise it’s not fun.

Because a good party always starts with the people. And I want to leave you with the confidence that when you’ve brought together that awesome group of people, the atmosphere is exactly how you wanted it to be.

But before I get into all of that, I want to tell you a story. It’s about hosting, cooking, and throwing a dinner (party). It isn’t my story but from the early days of my parents’ marriage — since deceased, both my mother and the marriage; still, while they were together, my parents were fabulous hosts.

My parents lived in Paris in the late 70s, when they were just married. My father had lived there for a while, my mother joined him from Munich, barely speaking any French or knowing anyone besides my father. A dinner party was planned, friends (mainly my father’s previous lovers according to my mother) were invited. And so my mother went for it.

She managed to purchase a considerable piece of pork roast with her broken French, preparing it like she had learned, the Bavarian way, in their tiniest of kitchens in the then still dodgy 17e arrondissement. She also made Bavarian “napkin dumplings”. Schweinsbraten mit Knödel is a dish I have never attempted in my life, and never will — yet Mami found it to be the perfect thing to serve for her first Parisienne dinner party.

If lore is anything to go by, they had been invited for 8pm, which came and went without a guest to be seen (anyone who has ever lived in Paris, gone out in Paris etc, knows what is coming). 8.30pm equally saw no one arrive. Maybe their friends started trickling in at 9pm? I’m not sure. The roast had begun to resemble a shoe sole, accompanied by smoke everywhere. The Knödel, chewy mashed potatoes. And my mother, a hot mess who was calming her nerves with heaps of wine.

Why did I tell you this story? One, because I love it. My mother was an absolute legendary hostess, and while she was a good cook, food was never the focus. Or the table decor. No. It was all about the feeling. The atmosphere. The raucous laughter. The intense discussions. That is what counts. And that starts with something other than the food or the decor. It starts with the people. That one fateful dinner party taught her the best lesson she could have wished for. One that she never ceased to repeat to me: “Be your own best guest”.

But — and here comes the BIG BUT — a great group of people can be aided by the right atmosphere. Or hindered. And that lies in your hands, my dear host.

I’m happy to show you my favourite, easy ways to create that atmosphere with this series. Because it starts with the people, i.e. with you.

And you’re also supposed to have fun.

So stay tuned for the second part in this little series, where I’ll tell you more about creating the perfect ambiance…

Let's quickly dive into the basics: a seating arrangement usually means a mixed group of people. The person sitting to someone’s left is considered they’re 'dinner partner'. The idea is that this 'dinner couple' talk to each other throughout the dinner, and ideally are interested in finding out more about the other person.

There are levels of stuffiness to this. A black tie dinner party might require that the males seek out their partner and escort them to the table, making sure that they have everything they need, etc. But a dinner party between friends usually doesn't require any of this, and it comes more down to how the table is mixed.

In both cases, creating a seating chart before lies in the hands of the host. A big party seating chart can take a good while to get right (as anyone who’s planned a wedding knows), and even then you're often plagued with last minute cancellations.

So, start with writing down everything you need to know. Do you have an even number of invitees? What shape is your table? What about your guests: do they all know each other? Who is bubbly and likes to talk? Who is more of an introvert? And who might not know each other yet but has similar interests?

Then I start placing people, often starting with myself. I either place someone to my left (my dinner partner), who is a wild card (eg. someone I've never met) or simply the person I really look forward to seeing. That person then gets someone who might potentially be a match (curious and introvert; similar jobs/hobbies; kids in the same school; etc), and so on. This goes on until the table is placed, and I've made sure that no couples are placed next to each other or even close to each other if the dinner party is big enough.

Yes, you read that right: married or dating couples should never sit next to each other. No matter the occasion. If you don't want to talk to and meet other people then please don't accept the invitation to a dinner party.

And don't think that I ever get this right on the first try. I place and move and place and move — and very often it doesn't feel perfect. But those are often the dinner parties that are the most fun.

Because never forget: a seating arrangement is there to help create a fun atmosphere, with people chatting, laughing and having a good time, you (the host) included.

I'm 50/50 when it comes to name cards. My hand writing can be terrible if I don't concentrate - but then they look very pretty if done well.

Has this helped? What do you think about a seating arrangement? Let me know in the comments…

I had an 'all or nothing' mentality and felt overwhelmed with the sheer task of getting it all perfect on the first try. The more I looked into climate change, sustainable production, living a healthy life, the more I felt inadequate to tackle any of it.

And then I came to the realisation (read: saw an Instagram post) that a greener lifestyle really is all about progress over perfection.

Finally, I realised that I needed to feel less doomsday and more future positive. I could see it all more as a chance to try new things, add new ways of living to my daily routines and for my business — as well as find joy in all of it.

I know making our lives a greener and happier life is possible. So, here’s what I've come to realise in the last couple of years…

Progressive Happiness not Perfect Rigidity

The main thing here is that we as humans deserve to be happy — and to feel positive about our lives. So, my trick is to focus on the sustainable things that add joy to my life.

And not to put so much pressure on myself to get everything right (on the first try). This mindset shift has also helped me in so many other areas of my life, where letting go of perfectionism has made me enjoy moments more.

A Green Opportunity

I love retail therapy.

Bad mood? Go shopping. Good mood? Go shopping. Meh mood? you guessed it: shopping. And this hasn’t changed, but how I approach shopping has.

Searching, sourcing, browsing, even window shopping, it’s always brought me so much joy. And I still love walking through all kinds of stores but now I always look at the tags: if the items aren't certified organic, I simply won’t buy them. So, if I still thinking about those items when I'm back home, I'll try to source something similar yet sustainable*.

My favorite way how my shopping has changed, though, is that I'm addicted to thrift, consignment and antique stores. Nothing is more thrilling than browsing through a random thrift store to find something so unique that no one else has.

*I want to qualify this: I absolutely still buy things direct from (big box) stores. Progress, not perfection, remember?

Uniqueness Overload

Can I tell you my favorite and unforeseen result about quitting fast fashion, fast interiors and fast food? The incredible unique and special products I have found along the way. From lamps that no one else has, to unique fashion items, to new and incredibly useful ways to grocery shop, my life feels more interesting and fuller than before when I could just pop down to Target and find it all in one sweep.

I understand that this can be a daunting task, and maybe you aren't sure where to start. But a little Google goes a long way, and you can truly find everything online.

Perhaps an easy entry point could be to order a food box from a local, sustainable grocer? Or maybe you could replace a Target run with a thrift store browse when you feel the need for some retail therapy? Or you could check out what native plants you can sow in your garden next season?

And then there’s the sustainable style swaps when your home needs a little refresh — one of our favourite ways to zhuzh up a room (sustainably, of course) is to throw some organic fabrics over your sofa; replace tired pillowcases (not the pillow); and breathe new life to a thrift shop lamp with a sustainably made lampshade.

When you take small steps, it’s easy to see that it isn't as daunting or difficult as you think. And it adds so much more joy into your day to day life.

So, what small swaps towards a happier, greener life will you take? Let’s discuss in the comments.

PS: The images are all from a phenomenal photoshoot in an even more phenomenal garden in the Belgian countryside. I’m just in the mood for spring, summer, and being outside, so I wanted to include them. I hope they bring you as much joy as they bring me!

I want to start a series that focuses on art and its relationship to design and how it transforms a house into a home.

One thing upfront: I understand the desire to fill your home with family photos. I do think they have their place, however, original art, when you really think about the design of your home, will make it feel all the more special, creating a tension that family photos won’t be able to achieve.

(Besides, I find overblown family photos ever so slightly braggadocious. If you need to show off your good looks in an overblown way, hire an artist and get yourself and your family immortalized in oil, like a civilised person.)

Art comes in many different forms: besides what would be considered regular art such as paintings, photography or sculptures, it can also be items you’ve collected throughout your lifetime. I have been known to lug back an unholy amount of stones from wherever we travel, and get into haggling mode when I see a beautiful eventail fan at a market.

I love to use art to create tension and juxtaposition in my interiors. For example, if you have a very classical/traditional style, and then hang a contemporary piece of art (a minimalist photograph in black and white, perhaps?) it immediately elevates the space, making it more interesting, a tension in the design that lets the eye travel.

For a cost conscious way of starting and adding to your collection, instead of buying generic art, opt for thrift store art. I'm not against generic art - I've a fair share of generic art from when I was younger and I hung it alongside other pieces. It’s more about starting a collection and buying pieces you like; pieces that speak to you.

Adding original art into your home allows you to tell a story; to put your own stamp on the space.

That's really what it's all about, right? You want people to walk into your home and get a sense of who you really are. We don't want copy and pasted homes and styles. We want our own unique style — and art plays a big role.

So, in this series, we'll look at ways in which to start collecting: from cost-saving options to best practices. As well as offering more examples on how art can bring design and interiors to life. And we'll also take a look at the way that art inspires my own designs.

I look forward to hearing all your thoughts on art in the home. Stay tuned for more Artistic Interiors.

PS: The great Rita Konig recently wrote an article in Elle Decor on the subject. I highly recommend giving it a read.

So, naturally, Sophie Says… is very apt name for my shiny new Substack.

So what’s it all about, Sophie?

I think that we can all be braver in our design choices if we want to. If we don't want to, well, who cares? I think, nowadays, people are afraid of saying what they think and feel because nobody wants to hurt anybody's feelings and that's fine — I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings, but I'm also okay at saying what I think, regardless.

For example, I don't like TVs above a fireplace — and I've gotten weird looks for saying that. If you don't agree with me, you are very much allowed to tell me, “I don't agree with you”. We can just go our separate ways and both agree to disagree.

I'm not saying that you are wrong for putting a TV above your fireplace. I personally don't like TVs that high or with that much focus on them. It’s such a missed opportunity for art. And I always want to hide a TV, not make it stand out.

 Before I go off on a tangent, let’s come back to the intro. I love art and design. And these are some of the things I plan to discuss on Sophie Says — I'm going to give you my unfiltered opinion.

But I also want to invite you to find your own voice when it comes to design; to find your own voice when it comes to style; when it comes to colors. I want you to be as unafraid of what other people might think as I am, so that you can be bold in your stylistic choices. This is my goal for Sophie Says…

I am not immune to wanting other people to like me and like my personal style. But I've become very immune to being afraid that they might not, because in the end, style is objective. Taste is subjective.

The saying, ‘one person’s trash is another person’s treasure’ is so true. The best advice is just to try to be your authentic self.

And I know that can be hard. If you're not interested in discovering your own personal style, that’s fine. (I’d be a little bit confused as to why you would be reading a Substack on design but welcome you nonetheless.)

So, for the sake of this Substack, I’m just going to assume that you are interested in design. Maybe you’re new to the design game? Maybe you're a seasoned designer? Maybe you've recently bought a house or moved somewhere new and are looking to imbue your space with your own personality and sense of self?

Well, you’ve come to the right place — because helping you to find your own style is a passion of mine. I love art, design, and art history and design history - and just all things that make life interesting. So maybe there will be some other topics here, too. This is Sophie Says… and I'm very glad that you're here.

Join me on my Substack journey by subscribing — as well as connecting with Sophie Says… on Substack Chat. First topic up for debate? What is good taste? Head to the app and tell me what you think…